Things that should be left unsaid

I wonder if you realize how much I’ve tried to hold back from you over the past two years. I’m sure you knew, but what I hated most was being the cause of your pain. Sometimes it hurt to even just look at you – how could I hurt someone I care so much about?

Even if I tried, I could never hate you. Yet, you are also the cause of my tears and together, we spiral downwards at a dangerous pace. This melancholic waltz we dance is in silence with the melody halted. Our steps are clumsy and foolish, barely getting us anywhere. We’re stuck in the middle of a stage that we want to leave behind; tired of being watched and judged – when will this intermission end?

I no longer want to disclose the secrets of my heart. The truth I shall never deny but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep silent. I’m tired of hiding from the world, pretending things are different from our obscure reality but what other option is available to me where I still appear sane?

I appreciate your sentiments, and a part of me dearly wishes it could have been but it really cannot. We shared so much, and that is something I’ll never forget.

There are some things that should remain unspoken for now. Until the right moment approaches, we’ll leave the thought here, in this silent space in our hearts where we can connect.

Reincarnation

Here’s a little something that I wrote as I wanted to submit something different into Weirdyear, but not quite sure about it. I originally wanted a fantasy piece and this is what I came up with instead.

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Reincarnation. Do you believe in it? It is a concept which some believe, and others dismiss as nothing but fantasy; yet the soul is eternal and forever growing.  The energy of the soul – it knows no bounds, and it accumulates knowledge throughout the ages in each lifetime, allowing the society they dwell in to progress, even in the smallest of measures.

You would not believe me, but after drifting across the universe, living lifetimes on different planets, I can tell you that there is no difference between yourself, myself and all those who exist in the worlds out there that this planet may not know of just yet. We are all living, and although we may not know the reason for our existence, the fact that we continue to move forward is one thing we all hold in common.

Beliefs, image and the way our worlds are portrayed may differ greatly in between, yet what does that matter? If we all struggle to live a life filled with meaning, then we should at least understand each other that much and have faith in what goes own beyond our perimeters.

Each world has taught me something new and different – I store it within myself as I move on to my next destination into a new vessel as an eternal soul. We never cease learning. Never. To think otherwise is foolish and filled with conceit.

There are times where we wish to advise those who do not recognize their own knowledge. As a service of good-will, we help guide those on the physical plane once we have passed on in hopes of helping them realize their own potential. During these times, we have been called many names: spirit guides, guardian angels, the higher power amongst many other things.

A common misconception amongst many is that death is the end and nothing follows after. What do you believe? What would you say if there was such a thing as eternal life? However, this eternal life I speak of is different from the perceptions that people hold. To live eternally is for your soul to continue moving on. You may not remember the past, or the lifetimes before, but your spirit will take on all your experiences from your lives and evolve, ready for the next adventure, wherever it may take place.

One should not fear death, but nor should one take it so lightly. A soul may live forever, but we are able to make the biggest impacts on society while being in a physical form. In that way, we are able to execute many things, and change many things for the better. If we were all nothing but spirit energy, there would be no need for the universe and we could all co-exist as one large energy entity. This was our beginning, but there is a reason why there are physical aspects in our realities now. There is a meaning behind every action. The fact that the stars, planets and various galaxies exist is proof that each of us are destined for greater things. Whether you realize the potential within yourself or not, there is a lot more to life than what is laid in front of the everyday person’s eyes.

Reincarnation. If you knew such a possibility could exist, how would you perceive your life? Even if there is another chance in the afterlife, would you treat your life lightly or take more pride in each day that passes? This is your challenge: live your life to the best of your ability without boundaries. Would you be able to do it?

言葉できない

どうしてこの重い想いを戻るの? I thought I was over it. 君、何を考えるの? 心の痛みはもう限界です。

Pero, hindi ko ma kalimutan na sin-ungaling man ikaw.

So many emotions are holding my heart in a tight grasp at the moment. I tried to write it in words but felt that I couldn’t express myself properly in any language that I know, so I got out my drawing book and starting painting.

It’s been years since I’ve done any traditional art. What started out as a few random brush strokes turned into this. It’s nothing special, but I’m going to let it dry overnight and try to add some more to it tomorrow.

Sometimes, there are feelings that words will never be able to express properly. When those times come, sometimes I really hate it. I wish I could word the emotions that stir within me lately.

Step inside the Angel’s mind

Click on the image for a bigger preview. Watermarked so no one takes this, even if it is a WIP.

I haven’t drawn anything in a good while, and doodling does not count! I’ve been so caught up in trying to draw manga style characters that I’ve actually neglected the still-life scenery I love to draw so much.

I still need to add a girl to this picture, and I need to do some more detail on the mountains and the river.

For those who are curious, this particular scenery is one of the few places I go to inside my mind when I’m writing. In places like these, I am able to draw inspiration for my writing.

This is drawn during twilight, which is one of my favourite times of day when you are able to see the moon but the sun has yet to set.

My goal is to finish this picture entirely, and already its one of my best works to date!

I’ll post more updates later, maybe.