It started in 2003, in my second year of junior high following closely after my first relationship which had fallen and burned in an unsightly manner like a dried withered rose on fire. I had convinced myself to move on, for I was young after all and my life would not stop over one person. However, the young man who was my first boyfriend had managed to shatter any self-esteem I had about myself, causing me to withdraw my true self from those around me for a while.
Back in those days, what people were most concerned about was new gossip and events. Topics with the girls always revolved around who was crushing on who, and I had revealed to a senior that I became interested in this boy who was in my grade. She meant well and wanted to help me get things started, so she gave him my number without my knowledge and when he dialed my digits, he was directed straight to my voicemail where my identity was revealed.
Throughout my grade and my friends in years above and below me, it became the biggest news around as it was not often that a crush of mine would be revealed. Also the fact that he was in the same grade as me created more friction as it was ammo for our friends and classmates to tease us. For countless weeks, whenever we were in the same area together, our friends would try to set us up. It became uncomfortable for both of us and our salvation was when the bell rang at the end of the day.
When the final bell would ring at 3pm, students rushed out of class to enjoy their afternoon. Each day I had to go and pick up my little godbrother from the elementary school next to us and meet with my godsister and elder godbrother. Each day, he would sit on a bench that I always walked past and wait for me so that we could exchange smiles. It was a young, innocent and pure love. At least, during that time it was. I would have never suspected the turn in events that would torture me in future years.
After months of humiliation from friends, nothing had progressed between him and myself. I turned to my senior and told her that I was ready to give up, for it seemed hopeless for me to keep persuing something that was not developing. Without my knowledge, she had passed this information forward to him and came back to me with some news.
“You know, I went and told him that you wanted to give up by the way,” she said to me with a look on her face that I couldn’t quite read. “Do you know what he said to me?”
“Of course I don’t,” I replied to her, giving her the ‘did you really have to do that?!‘ look on my face.
“He said to me that it was a shame, because he likes you and wants to go out with you.”
Of course, this was only a statement and was not the beginning of a relationship, but hope sparked inside me once again so I decided tha perhaps if I held on for a little longer, maybe my efforts would be rewarded. In the end, I held on for a bit too long it seems.
To be continued…
