It all started five years ago, though it seems like it’s been a lifetime. Every time I look back, I can’t help but be filled either with disappointment in myself, regret or embarrassment. Though, in a way, I guess I should thank ‘him’, for without the experience he put me through, I would not have become the person that I am now. I’m quite happy with my present self, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I guess that was all part of God’s plan, wasn’t it?
Five years ago, I was in the ninth grade, and was still technically in junior high. However, where I lived, we didn’t really have a junior high or middle school – what most schools would call “junior high” were just the lower grades of our high school. I was starting my second year in the public high school near my home, not because I wanted to but rather for the reason that I was given no choice in the matter. Originally, I wanted to attend a private school but my parents were too fussed on the expenses and the school admission fee, and thus I was outvoted. Also, all my other siblings who grew up here in Australia went to the same place, and if it was good enough for them then it was good enough for me, or so my mother said.
At the time, I had just turned fourteen years old. I was still very young and naive. I had experienced my first relationship through the summer holidays, though it lasted for barely a month. I was still overcoming a broken heart after hearing the terrible things my first boyfriend said about me. In a way, I guess he also affected the outcome of this story due to the scar he left imprinted on my heart. He shattered any little confidence I had managed to conjure while being with him and I became more insecure about my own self.
Although I was young, the one thing which I craved the most was to be a recipient of someone’s love – a someone who I loved back equally, yet this determination turned my situation into a painful one-sided love. This is where my story begins.
