One word can be so simple, yet contain infinite memories that I can’t seem to erase.
There’s too much tied to this one word; your name. Even before you stepped into my life, it had so much meaning and significance. Now that you’ve made your exit, your footprints still remain – slowly fading, but still present.
Just when I assure myself that I no longer need you, somehow you come back and remind me that your mark has been made. It’s not that I long for you, but I seem to constantly fall into the trap of unresolved issues with men, especially in regards to the heart. It’s the mistake that I seem to repeat time and time again – I thought I had learned my lesson but it doesn’t seem to appear that way. I hoped things with you could have been different, yet you did the same as the rest of them and left me alone in the cold.
All I ever wanted was one word: an answer. A simple yes or a no to the question if you felt the same way about me, as I did for you. Do I ask too much? No one ever seems to give me the straight answers that I desire. I’m sick of the games of hinting and leaving things unsaid – am I unworthy of such honesty?
You wouldn’t understand – you have no idea how I’ve been broken time and time again. Maybe I’m melodramatic, but I cannot lie or deny the hurt that has torn it’s way through my heart repeatedly. What most people don’t realize is that it makes me question my own self-worth. What part of me isn’t good enough? What part of me is so unsightly that I’m left unwanted? The insecurities pile up, returning me to the place where I began.
All I needed was one word to change that all, but you denied me. There wasn’t even a goodbye: it was one word never given.
That is deep. I am sorry you’ve had to go through that. But word from the wise; “History repeats itself, if the lesson is not learned” And may I add, “Good things come, to those who wait.”
I’m a writer, decided to look for topics of literature, and while I scrolled down through the list, I found your short, connotational writing. To be honest, the title had caught my attention. You’re writing is truly moving.